Time for ashes. Days like these scare me because I'm so out of it, I'm not 'myself' and I don't know how to tell people/friends. Can't get close to anyone, can't trust, can't let anyone in. I can learn tricks but somehow, deep inside I know/fear the truth that it will never be and days like this scare me. Days like this shows me that I'll be alone because being alone only hurts me and I don't know why I can't accept it but yet i want to. Days like this can get really dark and all i can do is to hold on tight.